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What the Heck?

Kato Kaelin: In search of a sophisticated audience

By John Heckathorn

POSTED: 02:30 a.m. HST, Oct 12, 2008

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"Everyone in L.A. is over it," said Brian "Kato" Kaelin. Kaelin's referring to his stint as the world's most famous houseguest, at O.J. Simpson's during the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

A minor witness at both the criminal and civil trials, he found himself pilloried on late night shows for his laid back, unemployed lifestyle and general incoherence. Now, with O.J. recently convicted in Las Vegas, he's once again news.

"It made me famous, sort of," says the still youthful blond dude, "but I would have preferred to be not so famous and working."

Kaelin is working, in Honolulu. He's in a show called the "Weenie Man-O-Logs," which runs Thursday through Sunday at Cirque Hawaii. Originally scheduled for five weeks, the show will have a run that depends on whether it finds a following, said producer Sandy Miano. "It's really aimed at a sophisticated audience, like Vegas," she says.

The "Weenie Man-O-Logs" is supposed to be a male version of the Eve Ensler's Obie Award-winning play, the "Vagina Monologues." Actually, it's a series of jokes, some of them funny, but not repeatable here, featuring four comedians, including the "Unknown Comic," Murray Langdon, who "wrote" the show.

The show features both a gay comic, Thai Rivera, and a woman, Danielle Kasen, both of whom are funnier than the, ahem, straight men.

You mean Kato's not funny? He's working on it. "It's hard for me," he said to the unamused audience last Thursday, "I'm not used to being judged by more than 12 people." Baddabing.

Welcome to Obamaland

Ron Jacobs has been uncharacteristically quiet for months. Turns out he's been feverishly putting together a book about Barack Obama in Hawaii, from the arrival of his father in 1959 to his 1979 departure for college.

Its title: "Obamaland." Complete with maps of Obama-sites, from Kapiolani Hospital to Rainbow Drive-In.

To help with the writing, Jacob enlisted Neil Abercrombie, Puakea Nogelmeier (in English and Hawaiian), poet Sue Cowing, DJ Bart da Silva (who was in Barack Obama's homeroom at Punahou), the Star-Bulletin's John Berger and Cameron Crowe (who wrote, among other things, "Almost Famous" and "Jerry McGuire").

Not to mention seven photographers, five artists and a platoon of researchers like DeSoto Brown and Mac Simpson. "The book's full of stuff nobody knows," says Jacobs. "Some of it controversial, which is good."

It's due the day after the election from Trade Publishing, located strategically between Democrat and Republican streets in Kalihi.

What if Obama doesn't win? The book bears the subtitle, "Birthplace of the 44th President of the United States."

"Nothing's a sure thing," says Jacobs, "but I'm not too worried." Just in case: There's a backup cover that reads instead, "Hawaii's Favorite Son."

Green Libations

The bar at E&O was actually pouring green drinks at last Tuesday's Green Drinks. I was surprised, having assumed the "green" part was a metaphor. Green Drinks is a monthly gathering of (mainly) 30-somethings involved in ecological good works. Such as Jeff Mikulina, who left the Sierra Club to become executive director of Blue Planet, which wants to get Hawaii off fossil fuels in a decade. Or James Koshiba, co-founder of Kanu Hawaii, which encourages people to take green vows like giving up cars or plastic bottled water.

Saw a friend, said I didn't know he was green. "Everybody is now," he said. That seemed true enough: There were better than 200 people packed into the lounge, tippling on green cocktails and networking like crazy.

Above the din, HPU professor Stephen Allen tried to give a presentation, complete with equations, on photovoltaic power. "This is a new experience for me," said Allen. "Usually my students don't drink IN class."

Burning Up the Strings

Supposedly nobody's going out anymore, given the crumbling of the world financial markets. But that doesn't explain why last First Friday was humming. Big crowds at galleries, a boffo weekend at the new Laughtrack Theatre, the dance floor packed at Next Door - and people paying $10 to sit on the floor at Ong King Arts Center.

The crowd at Ong King was rewarded by a sizzling jam with the rock band Quadraphonix by ukulele wiz Taimane Gardiner.

I suppose it's no surprise that the islands throw up one uke wizard after another. If you remember the first time you saw Jake Shimabukuro, that may partially prepare you for sitting in a small performance space and hearing Taimane blast through "Stairway to Heaven."

The 19-year-old, who got her start on the Waikiki streets and went on to play with Don Ho, asked me to mention that her new CD will be out soon, and that she's playing Maui Halloween weekend. Done.

Mommy Loves Shopping

Plunged into parenthood are Kathryn Drury Wagner and her husband, filmmaker Brett Wagner, with the birth of a daughter, Zoe.

Zoe's not the only fruit of Ms. Wagner's labor. The weekend before Zoe's arrival, mom worked like a whirlwind, "hoping the baby wouldn't come before I finished my book."

The book is "The Ultimate Guide to Shopping in Honolulu," due out in December. Its motto: "Anyone who says money can't buy happiness is shopping in the wrong place."

A sweet deal

Hawaiian Host unveils this week its "Christmas Medley," an assortment of chocolate macadamia candies. In the candy box is a three-song CD from Raiatea Helm. It marks the first time she's recorded a song she's written herself, "Where I Belong," in collaboration with Disney composer Johnson Enos. She debuted it in her Hawaii Theatre concert last month.

I know the music biz has gone nontraditional. But a chocolate box, really? I asked the Molokai songstress. "It's a sweet deal," says Raiatea.

John Heckathorn is editor of Hawaii Magazine and director of integratedmedia for the aio Group.

"Everyone in L.A. is over it," said Brian "Kato" Kaelin. Kaelin's referring to his stint as the world's most famous houseguest, at O.J. Simpson's during the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Courtesy of Pam Davis
The comedians of the “Weenie Man-o-Logs,” from left, Danielle Kasen (kneeling), Thai Rivera, Murray Langdon and Kato Kaelin perform Thursday through Sunday at Cirque Hawaii.

A minor witness at both the criminal and civil trials, he found himself pilloried on late night shows for his laid back, unemployed lifestyle and general incoherence. Now, with O.J. recently convicted in Las Vegas, he's once again news.

"It made me famous, sort of," says the still youthful blond dude, "but I would have preferred to be not so famous and working."

Kaelin is working, in Honolulu. He's in a show called the "Weenie Man-O-Logs," which runs Thursday through Sunday at Cirque Hawaii. Originally scheduled for five weeks, the show will have a run that depends on whether it finds a following, said producer Sandy Miano. "It's really aimed at a sophisticated audience, like Vegas," she says.

The "Weenie Man-O-Logs" is supposed to be a male version of the Eve Ensler's Obie Award-winning play, the "Vagina Monologues." Actually, it's a series of jokes, some of them funny, but not repeatable here, featuring four comedians, including the "Unknown Comic," Murray Langdon, who "wrote" the show.

The show features both a gay comic, Thai Rivera, and a woman, Danielle Kasen, both of whom are funnier than the, ahem, straight men.

You mean Kato's not funny? He's working on it. "It's hard for me," he said to the unamused audience last Thursday, "I'm not used to being judged by more than 12 people." Baddabing.

Welcome to Obamaland

Ron Jacobs has been uncharacteristically quiet for months. Turns out he's been feverishly putting together a book about Barack Obama in Hawaii, from the arrival of his father in 1959 to his 1979 departure for college.

Its title: "Obamaland." Complete with maps of Obama-sites, from Kapiolani Hospital to Rainbow Drive-In.

To help with the writing, Jacob enlisted Neil Abercrombie, Puakea Nogelmeier (in English and Hawaiian), poet Sue Cowing, DJ Bart da Silva (who was in Barack Obama's homeroom at Punahou), the Star-Bulletin's John Berger and Cameron Crowe (who wrote, among other things, "Almost Famous" and "Jerry McGuire").

Not to mention seven photographers, five artists and a platoon of researchers like DeSoto Brown and Mac Simpson. "The book's full of stuff nobody knows," says Jacobs. "Some of it controversial, which is good."

It's due the day after the election from Trade Publishing, located strategically between Democrat and Republican streets in Kalihi.

What if Obama doesn't win? The book bears the subtitle, "Birthplace of the 44th President of the United States."

"Nothing's a sure thing," says Jacobs, "but I'm not too worried." Just in case: There's a backup cover that reads instead, "Hawaii's Favorite Son."

Green Libations

The bar at E&O was actually pouring green drinks at last Tuesday's Green Drinks. I was surprised, having assumed the "green" part was a metaphor. Green Drinks is a monthly gathering of (mainly) 30-somethings involved in ecological good works. Such as Jeff Mikulina, who left the Sierra Club to become executive director of Blue Planet, which wants to get Hawaii off fossil fuels in a decade. Or James Koshiba, co-founder of Kanu Hawaii, which encourages people to take green vows like giving up cars or plastic bottled water.

Saw a friend, said I didn't know he was green. "Everybody is now," he said. That seemed true enough: There were better than 200 people packed into the lounge, tippling on green cocktails and networking like crazy.

Above the din, HPU professor Stephen Allen tried to give a presentation, complete with equations, on photovoltaic power. "This is a new experience for me," said Allen. "Usually my students don't drink IN class."

Burning Up the Strings

Supposedly nobody's going out anymore, given the crumbling of the world financial markets. But that doesn't explain why last First Friday was humming. Big crowds at galleries, a boffo weekend at the new Laughtrack Theatre, the dance floor packed at Next Door - and people paying $10 to sit on the floor at Ong King Arts Center.

The crowd at Ong King was rewarded by a sizzling jam with the rock band Quadraphonix by ukulele wiz Taimane Gardiner.

I suppose it's no surprise that the islands throw up one uke wizard after another. If you remember the first time you saw Jake Shimabukuro, that may partially prepare you for sitting in a small performance space and hearing Taimane blast through "Stairway to Heaven."

The 19-year-old, who got her start on the Waikiki streets and went on to play with Don Ho, asked me to mention that her new CD will be out soon, and that she's playing Maui Halloween weekend. Done.

Mommy Loves Shopping

Plunged into parenthood are Kathryn Drury Wagner and her husband, filmmaker Brett Wagner, with the birth of a daughter, Zoe.

Zoe's not the only fruit of Ms. Wagner's labor. The weekend before Zoe's arrival, mom worked like a whirlwind, "hoping the baby wouldn't come before I finished my book."

The book is "The Ultimate Guide to Shopping in Honolulu," due out in December. Its motto: "Anyone who says money can't buy happiness is shopping in the wrong place."

A sweet deal

Hawaiian Host unveils this week its "Christmas Medley," an assortment of chocolate macadamia candies. In the candy box is a three-song CD from Raiatea Helm. It marks the first time she's recorded a song she's written herself, "Where I Belong," in collaboration with Disney composer Johnson Enos. She debuted it in her Hawaii Theatre concert last month.

I know the music biz has gone nontraditional. But a chocolate box, really? I asked the Molokai songstress. "It's a sweet deal," says Raiatea.

John Heckathorn is editor of Hawaii Magazine and director of integratedmedia for the aio Group.

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